‘Expectations’ are burdening many relations nowadays. Today many parents want their children to fulfil their dreams without understanding that a child has her own interests. By pressurising children to study hard, parents are adding extra pressure on them. Most of the children fail to meet the expectations of their parents because of this added pressure and are not able to achieve their potential.
Ideally, there should be a perfect balance between expectation and reality. Every parent should be aware of his child’s potential and should expect accordingly. Here are some of the things, every parent should consider while expecting from their child:
Understand your child:
Before expecting anything, it’s important to understand the potential, weakness, interests, and talents of your child. If your child is good in co-curricular activities, then you focus on promoting her in that field. For example, if your child is a good singer then try and make his or her career in singing.
Don’t set your expectations:
It is essential that you consider your child a different individual. If you force your demands and expectations on her, then it will weigh her down. It is crucial that you should not consider your kid as your copy and should treat them as per their potential. If you were not good at sports and per-assuming that your child will be the same is wrong. It is important that you give her a fair and equal chance to find the areas of her liking.
Studies revealed that everyday involvement of parents in reinforcing of value of education, handwork and sacrifice, along with love and support, made students set high aspirations for themselves
Support in Failures:
Failure is a significant part of your kid’s life. Understanding and even expecting your child to fail sometimes will bring out the best possible outcome from you when your child needs your support the most. Ideally, your support should not depend on the result but on the effort she puts in. If she has worked very hard and yet failed to score good marks or win a tournament, then it’s important to appreciate her hard work. Supporting her in her failures will keep her motivated to improve herself. You should not express frustration or agony if your kid fails to score well. Instead, you should always stay positive and keep her focused on working even harder.
Don’t compare with others:
Comparing your child with others can hamper her growth in a big way. When you tell her how good others are, at something that she is not good at, she will gradually develop self-doubt. This self-doubt eventually will turn into negativity, and your kid will not be able to embrace new challenges with a positive spirit. So, instead of looking at results, look at her growth, her weaknesses and strengths. Only personal development can lead your child to success.
Being a parent does not mean that you are always correct. Sometimes you need to reflect on your child’s reactions to your behaviour. Ask her how she feels when you scold her? Make her realise her mistakes instead of blindly scolding. Make sure that you do not shout at her in front of her friends as it can hamper her social image. Creating a friendship with your child can her listen and co-operate with you.
Ask her what she feels:
While taking any decision, try to understand what your child thinks about it. Just because you are her guardian and have the power to make decisions for her does not mean that you should never consider her’s. Building a partnership of thoughts with your child can make sure that you remain in her good book.
These principles are not just applicable to parenting a child but can be applied just about everywhere. Most of the parents feel disheartened if they show love to their child and do not get it back. At times it is critical that parents understand the mindset of their child and not expect a lot. A parent should always ask some question to himself like – Are you speaking of victory and excellence all the time? How well are you able to handle your child’s failure? Are you ready to connect with your child? What can you do if your child fails?
Parenting can be confusing, stressful and ask a lot of you, but with patience and love, you can shape a bright future for your child. Always remember more than a successful academic performer; it is important to make your child a successful person.